For my love Fadi…
It was a summer day in the month of June in America. Today I was very keen on going out for a long drive to the Golden Gate Parks. I just wanted to get my mind off things; to explore and feel the serenity of nature. I felt extremely tormented. I had been isolating myself from everyone, and it was slowly driving me crazy.
I rapidly tugged on my shirt and jean shorts and off I went. The temperature was scorching hot, the sun was shining and glowing brightly. This was the heat that I loved typically because my birthday was forthcoming but will be overly due because I don’t have anybody to celebrate it with… yes I was lonesome living in a basement off California streets. I had no company. But I loved the way I felt because I had enough time and space for myself to be at ease and at peace, but most importantly to think and to write. Yes, I was that wild thinker. I needed days like this, to imagine and write everything down until my brains exploded from thinking until I started to have delusions or getting the ticks. But either way I loved it so much and couldn’t get enough of it.
It was a 3 hour and 24 minute drive according to my iPhone. But that was okay with me. As I arrived at the park and entered the Golden Gates, I parked at the rear end of the lot. There were no other cars to be seen. I jumped out of my red rosy Toyota Yaris and started to feel the bliss sink into my body. The location was a lovely rural setting. It was breathtaking, so amazing, nature! The beauty of the green emerald landscaped views was so wonderful!
The Golden Gate Park was such a big park and there was lots to do. I was walking down the pathway into the park and suddenly I encountered something so unexpected. From the moment I saw him I fell in love. No this wasn’t just ‘’falling in love’’ I truly, honestly and certainly… loved him. I caught his gaze and all I could do was stare. I almost melted to my knees. I was drowning. It was so overwhelming. I felt a deep love and affection for him. I was craving for him to just steal one kiss. All I wanted in that moment was to kiss those thin, delicious lips. In the blink of an eye, he walked past me and the sensations in my stomach started to fade away but I was speechless. All that I hoped for was to see him again one day. Oh please, I would do anything in order to feel that rapture again before I fall into despair.
The next day I had a strong desire to see him again. I drove for 3 hours for him. That’s how obsessed and addicted I was. If I couldn’t see him… I would go completely insane without him. So I drove to the park again. I looked for him but I couldn’t find him. I went to the first spot where I had first seen him, he wasn’t there. What would I do if I couldn’t find him? I thought. Even worse, what if I could never see him, ever again? I would be very disappointed in myself for not saying ‘’Hi’’ to my lover. All of a sudden I caught a glimpse of his face. I scrolled down and studied him with my eyes… “Oh, my God!” Yes it was him.’’ Fadi was sitting down on a bench. I hid behind a nearby tree. Oh, the features of his face, that figure, how could someone be so perfect? He was irresistible. In my eyes he was so fascinating. I had been caught in love at first sight. Could he be my soul mate? There was only one way to find out.
I sat down next to him and said ‘’Hi.’’ I stared at him. He hesitated at first… ‘’Hello’’ ‘’I’m Seniha and you are’’? ‘’I’m Fadi, do I know you’’? ‘’Ah, no. I don’t come here that often but you probably do.’’ ‘’Yes I come here every lunch time and read a book, you know just to chillax.’’ Fadi laughed. ‘’ What a magnificent view isn’t it?’’ ‘’Yeah totally. It’s very impressive’’ I gasped. He was so smooth, elegant and graceful. I felt ecstasy. I was intoxicated by him. A couple of minutes later he hissed and felt uncomfortable, maybe even unpleasant and left without saying a word. But that was okay. At least I now knew his name which was a relief.
It had been a couple of days of trying to talk to Fadi, and trying to make our conversations last longer. I started to get the idea that I had needed to tell him my feelings for him because I desperately needed him by my side like every day. So one day when we were speaking to each other I secretly put a note in his book saying to meet me at the Rainbow falls which was the waterfall at Golden Gate Park this waterfall was absolutely astonishing.
I was waiting at the waterfall for Fadi to come he hadn’t arrived yet but I was yearning, expecting, hoping and wishing for him to come because my only dream was to be with him. I thought that he’d known me enough after all our conversations and I’m not only just stalking him or want to be vulnerable or anything. I had told him to come at 10:00am but he was late. He didn’t arrive until it was 10:22am. I guess he had to be a jerk or even an asshole to keep this goddess waiting truthfully, Seniha was so beautiful, gorgeous and attractive and she just wished that he had called her his inamorata.
‘’You’re here’’ Seniha walked towards Fadi clutched and tightened both of his hands. Fadi looked confused and lifted an eyebrow. ‘’Yeah I’m assuming you want to tell me something’’ That scent, that fragrance of his perfume was unbelievably tang, his hands felt so warm that fulfilled my soul I could just stand there all day feeling that passionate love I have for him. ‘’Yeah… I… I love you and I want us to be together.’’ Fadi looked shocked. 5 seconds later ‘’I’m sorry but you’re not my type’’ How could he? When I was so brave enough to tell him I literally adored him that I could wait for him forever to say yes, the sound of the pistachio waterfall was now drizzling into my ears that it sort of distracted me. ‘’I don’t have to be but I love you and I could wait’’ ‘’I’m sorry’’ he replied his speech so eloquence. He gently and silently walked back and left my eyes watery that tears were dripping down my cheeks into my mouth that the savor and smell was so sorrowful. I was heartbroken and devastated.
I had an idea. I texted him saying to meet me at the train station or else I’m going to end all of this.
I was standing along the train tracks crying and sobbing I thought I didn’t have another way out of this because he looked so escalated and was positive enough that he wouldn’t change his mind. After all, I was coaxing him. I was walking, aimlessly roaming and couldn’t feel my legs, so unconscious of my surroundings and myself. Instantly, I heard someone yelling out’ “SENIHA!” It was him, Fadi’ my love had come to save and rescue me. Running down clumsily’ he yells ‘’What are you doing here?’’ ‘’Are you going to tell me that you love me or else I will jump in front of the train and be crashed into pieces’’ ‘’Seniha are you out of your mind come here now’’ A train was approaching me….. And I set myself free….. to die for the sake of my lover because I had no other choice. Fadi speedily took hold of me hauled and ravished me from my hand I fell into the sparkles and flare of his dreamy eyes. The sound of the train was choo chooing with its horn as it passed us. I gasped and exhaled twice. ‘’Yes I do I love you I just couldn’t say it, I’m sorry for keeping you waiting all this time I’m an idi…’’ ‘’shh its okay now that you’re here nothing else matters. You’re mine’’
And the whole universe was mine. I sighed out loud and gave a sweet satisfying smile. He hugged me, embraced the love that I never knew he had with his charming and handsome smile, energy so soft fishy- like, so he was shy and secretive all this time. Fadi was grasping me so tight. I was in felicity, I was lilting and throbbing from happiness and rejoicing. We had promised that we will never abandon each other; our love will now be endless and eternal.
Written by Seniha Haksever